Colonial Families in Puritan New England

Social Norms and Gender Expectations Dictated Proper Roles

Nov 5, 2009

The foundation of the New England Commonwealth was the family, an expression of stability and social order inspired by strict religious community applications.

Colonial New England families took their inspiration from both Biblical interpretation, notably the patriarchal order of the Old Testament, and Protestant views concerned with maintaining a functioning social order. The family was at the center of each Puritan “godly community.” Rigidly upheld norms ensured that the proscribed proper gender roles – as well as the place of children, were maintained and enforced. Deviations were not tolerated and frequently punished harshly. The New England family “model” established a long-term pattern that, ultimately, would become the American social expectation.

From Marriage to Death

Unlike other English colonies such as Virginia where marriage tended to occur later in life, males and females in New England married early and began to build families. The semi-theocratic Commonwealth allowed for divorce and differentiated between divorce and annulment. Adultery, desertion, or prolonged absences, usually seven years or longer, were legal grounds for terminating the marriage.

All property in the marriage was held by the husband whose duties including providing for the wife and children. Because most families lived on small farms, each member of the household was expected to assist with the seasonal rigors of planting and harvesting. Women, however, were expected to do all of the household work – everything from cooking to making soap, washing (an all day affair), and nurturing children.

It was not uncommon for men to remarry after the death of a wife. Puritans held to the idea of the “limit on love;” there was no marriage in heaven. Wives were expected to be obedient to their husbands but husbands were expected to love their wives “even as Christ loves the church.” Because women were viewed as weaker vessels, their dependence on males, both within the family and under Commonwealth laws, was mandatory lest they fall prey to the “wiles of the devil.” Aggressive women, even in the pursuit of religious activities like Anne Hutchinson, were seen as a threat.

The Education of Children Perpetuated the Social Norms

Boys were not considered men until they were “breeched,” meaning “trousered.” Between the ages of 10-14, male teenagers discerned their “calling.” According to Puritan belief, rooted in Calvinist theology, God “called” everyone to an occupation. Because this “calling” was of divine origin, all jobs, from the most menial to the most exalted, were blessed and served God’s purpose. Hence, everyone was expected to fulfill their calling without demur, completing every task in such a manner that devotion to job is often still referred to as either the “Puritan” or “Protestant” work ethic.

Both boys and girls were taught to read using the Bible and everyone was expected to be in church on the Sabbath and other days reserved for collective worship. Even after Harvard College (later university) was established as a seminary to train ministers, many wealthy New Englanders, much like their counterparts in other colonies, continued to send males to England for university educations.

Apprentices and Housewives

Women were not expected to workout outside of their established domain. Even if women obtained money in some fashion, it became the property of the husband. Young girls were placed in households once they came of age to learn the intricacies of being wives and mothers. As they got older, they were forbidden to date males without proper chaperoning. Sexual purity was a norm, although between 20-30% of women marrying were pregnant at the time of the wedding (these figures refer more to the late 17th century and into the 18th century).

Boys were apprenticed to masters for a period of 5-7 years depending upon the terms of the contract and the type of skill to be learned. New England was slowly developing into a vital merchant and shipping center, thus necessitating growth in a variety of skills. Despite this, New England family life continued to stress the importance of social expectations and gender roles.

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